Should I work on my anger?: 3 reasons why.
If you are not sure whether to work on your anger this will give you clarity. Take a look at these 3 reasons why anger would be problematic or something to work on.
Reason #1 to work on anger: INTENSITY
You are finding that your anger is intense and strong. Sometimes it might feel like you go from 0-100.
Emotions that are this strong are not wrong. There are times when very strong emotional responses make sense. Like in an emergency situation or situations of grief and loss of a loved one. Big strong emotions definitely can make sense.
It is when your anger is intense and it does not make sense that you need to take a second look. For example, your partner forgot to pick up the kids. You feel the intensity of anger overtake your mind and body. You are seeing red. Does the intensity fit?
This also does not mean your anger in its entirety is invalid. You can be angry your partner forgot AGAIN to pick up the kids. It’s just the strong reaction that makes you later go, was it that big of a deal.. Hmmm.
Reason to #2 to work on anger: PERSISTENCY
The anger is not going away. Something upset you and you feel angry. Then it just sits there, like it is stuck.
You feel it brewing underneath, time is not healing. Now, I don’t believe time is healing in a larger sense, it is what you do with the time. BUT time can give us space to calm down and think things through.
When time is not helping, and you persistently feel angry: Hmmm something to work on maybe?
ALSO: Think about the consistency of anger. You are noticing the frequency in which you are reacting with anger. Why does anger keep coming up? Why is this your go-to emotional response? This could definitely be a prompt to take a look at your anger.
Reason #3 to work on anger: BEHAVIOUR
You aren’t liking how you behave when angry.
People express their anger differently of course. Some may:
Yell and scream
Get very judgemental
Pointing the finger at the other person (blaming)
Say things that you later regret
Make decisions that you later regret, act impulsively. For example, end a relationship
Take off and hide away and stew
The anger may turn inward, fuels bad thoughts
Basically, your anger leads to negative consequences, behaviours you don’t like or want.
Disclaimer: This is general advice. Like all self-help information, it is not personal and tailored to fit for all people and situations. This content should not be taken as a substitute for individual mental health or relationship support.
