Men struggling with their mental health and not telling anyone is a hot topic FOR GOOD REASON. Men struggling with mental health or painful emotions entirely on their own can and have led to fatal consequences. Let’s explore some reasons why men don’t talk about their mental health to get a better understanding. 

Leave a comment below for what you think the barrier is for men talking about their mental health.

Thinking about letting others see this part that is struggling with mental health may create fear: fear that others will see them differently, like they are less than a man or weak.

Having social connection is beneficial to your mental health, and men are included in that.

Actually, a common reason for men to struggle with mental health is the feeling of loneliness, which is a symptom of depression. Loneliness can exist when we don’t have relationships or community. Loneliness can also exist for men when they have these relationships but there is a disconnect, like when the relationship is surface-level.

Those of us who are in relationship with men, whether romantically, friendly, or family, need to practise restrained judgement for those men who are struggling with their mental health.

Men have emotions and struggle like anyone else.

If we are to encourage talking and openness about mental health, we need to check our own discomfort and allow their vulnerability to be received with warmth and encouragement.

Along with not wanting to be judged or to inconvenience others with their mental health struggle, men may also learn to minimise and dismiss their emotions too.

Men may say to themselves:

“It’s not a big deal”

“I’ll just let it go”

“Get over it”

“I shouldn't be upset over that” or

“I don’t care”.

“I deal with things on my own, mental health is no different.”

Another societal or cultural standard for men is that suffering is an individual endeavour that requires perseverance, rather than support, nurture, empathy, and rest. This is in the category of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps”.

What the idea of unnecessary perseverance causes is unnecessary struggle with mental health that can have long-lasting consequences, including death.

Many men struggling with their mental health take their own lives because they feel they have to push through and if they can’t then that’s their failure.

As a society we have conditioned men to believe when struggling with mental health, that reaching out for emotional support and the much needed nurture, empathy, and rest, is not an option.

We have taught men that upholding a certain image of what it means to be a man is more important or that we won’t accept them otherwise.

Strength is saying I am not going to break my back so I can push this boulder up a hill, because for what? No, I am going to ask a buddy for a hand so we can all walk out of here in one piece.

If anything, avoiding your struggle is weak.

Face it and turn to others. And if someone perceives you as anything but courageous and strong, then they don’t get it and they don’t have to. Maybe one day when they inevitably struggle they’ll see.

Disclaimer: This is general advice. Like all self-help information, it is not personal and tailored to fit for all people and situations. This content should not be taken as a substitute for individual mental health or relationship support.